My Personal Gap

To be loved
by somebody strong
and a firm voice
from a friend
in the morning,
what a thrill I would have felt.

Never to have been loved
by somebody strong
into whose arms I could flee,
and I miss nobody.

Fear greets me
in the morning.
I close my eyes
and cry mommy mommy.
As always you are silent
even in memory.
When you died
I didn't mourn you.